Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Text me some of your sweat
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
