Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
