PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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