dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
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