sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
