I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
