yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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