If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
