It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
