At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
