So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
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