someone get that fucking seahorse.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
So squirting runs in the family.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
ok first of all what the fuck
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
