on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
