There is no way he is gay with that hair.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
