I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I am mentally ready for anal.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
