I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
