Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
