Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
