I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize