im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.