ya dads aren't the best wingmen
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation