I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
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you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
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I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.