Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
He had some BAD nuttage
It's like cleavage......... but different
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out