He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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