Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
