I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
