Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
