I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
