I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
