have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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