but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
