no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
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