This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
