just tell him i said nine months
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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