Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
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