I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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