My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
