ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
