I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I just had sex on a roof
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
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