Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
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