I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
