super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
