Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
