you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
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