I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
