just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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