Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
