i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
You ate ashes out of my bong
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
