You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
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