Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
