Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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