You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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