people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Randomize
