I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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