he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I deserve this hangover.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
