How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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