That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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