Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Randomize
