so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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