To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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