I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
